


Dry Tea

by etherimaginary



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fantasy, Fluff, Kaisoo arent in a relationship more like friends, Kris is also in this and hes also a bigger asshole, M/M, Pixie Jongin, and half of it is backstory smh, fellas is it gay to crave attention from your bro, imagine an exterminator except he doesnt kill them, theyre both sassy assholes, this isnt super heavy on emotions more of an easy feel good kinda read, this isnt super ooey gooey fluff, uhhhhh pixie collecter kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherimaginary/pseuds/etherimaginary
Summary: Kyungsoo gets called to relocate a troublesome house pixie named Jongin and things, inevitably, happen.





	Dry Tea

**Author's Note:**

> SO according to the poll on my twitter page yall wanted some Kaisoo. and you know what? Bitch me too. I haven't written them in so long but the words just came out uwuwuwu i forgot how easy they are to write for me i love my bbies. 
> 
> I GOT THIS IDEA because I'm a forgetful bitch who ALWAYS forgets about my tea then like 2 hours later I'm like SHIT MY TEA  
> I figure other people can relate.

Kyungsoo stared down at his mug, the teabag still sat quietly at the bottom of the otherwise empty cup, its string hanging lazily over the brim. The sight of it pinched a frown between his eyebrows, and he turned to face his silent apartment, speaking into the empty air.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re upset, or are you going to just keep throwing a tantrum like a child?”

~ ~ ~

As far as infestations went, there was certainly a hierarchy of awfulness, with perhaps ants at the bottom and bees at the top, though rodents were a close second. Nestled somewhere in the middle, between cockroaches and squirrels, sat house pixies. Active ones, that is; the quieter, more dormant ones rarely caused a fuss, living nestled in the leaves of houseplants and only coming out at night to steal an apple from the fridge or a nibble of slowly dwindling birthday cake. Many times, they went unnoticed, many people not even realizing their house was habitat to the creatures, but for those who knew what to look for, their presence- or lack thereof- was nothing short of obvious.

Most people liked to brag that their house wasn’t infested. Most people were wrong. Kyungsoo figured nine out of ten houses had at least one of the little beasties in them, and he considered himself quite qualified to make such a judgement. After all, he was the most sought after relocator in the city, and such a job required a keen sense of magical beings, an ability to find them even when they were heavily cloaked in whatever magic they used to make them invisible. Pixies were tricky creatures at the best of times, and when they inevitably realized he was there to capture them, they would do everything they could to hide themselves, though a stubborn few preferred a more aggressive method. Kyungsoo had had all sorts of household objects come flying at his head: fruit, books, a cat, you name it. It came with the job, and he had developed quick enough reflexes to bat the objects away before they connected with his face. Most of the time.

He didn’t mind his job. He made a tidy living out of relocating, and he often found the creatures endearing more than anything. Each had their own personality, though for simplicity’s sake the magical community had developed a three-category system in which each individual fell. The ‘good’ pixies were helpful, turning off forgotten stoves, locking the doors at night, organizing the shoes in the front hall. They kept other pests away too, as all pixies were fiercely territorial, and didn’t mind going up against a rat twice their size in order to defend their domain. The ‘neutral’ pixies were just that. Neutral. These were the most commonly unnoticed, as they tended to dabble little in most human stuff, but they still often enjoyed the other living things in the house. Plants would come back from the brink of death, household pets would become happier and more friendly, babies would more often sleep through the night. Often times the only indication of their presence was a twinkle in the sunbeams drifting through the window, a tiny handprint against a mirror, a mere sense of ease the moment you stepped through the threshold. 

Kyungsoo was never called to deal with the good or neutral pixies, and quite frankly, even if he was he wouldn’t respond. They were harmless, simply needing a warm, safe place to call home. No, he only dealt with the last category, the ones that were truly a problem. The ‘mischief’ pixies- some referred to them as the unofficial but undoubtedly fitting ‘chaos’ pixies- were the only ones that actually did damage. They liked to cause trouble, stealing the wife’s jewelry, planting underwear in the husband’s bag, rewriting the answers to the kid’s homework so they would fail their assignments. No, even Kyungsoo acknowledged that they had to go. Still, he was kind about it, capturing them with as little fuss as possible, handling them gently, ignoring their hisses and curses. It was all bark, anyway. He would drive them far out into the forest, releasing them only once he was certain they would not be able to find their way back. Some, admittedly, did, but their timeout in nature usually did them well, and they returned to domestic life much better behaved. Most simply stayed out in the forest, living among the sprites and deer and only really bothering the most adventurous of explorers that strayed too close to their territory. Kyungsoo liked it better like this, could never bring himself to actually exterminate the creatures, despite it being a lot faster and easier method of disposal. He simply wasn’t that cruel, and he prided himself on his mercy. It had become his branding, and people from all over would call him, wanting to get rid of their pixies but unable to stomach the thought of killing them. 

Now, one might think that such an expert in the field of pixie relocating would himself have only good pixies in his house, if he chose to even have any at all. Kyungsoo did, in fact, have a pixie, but it was not a good one. It was one of the bad ones- at least that’s what he told anyone whose asked, enjoying the confusion that sprung across their faces- one that he had been called to deal with about a year before.

“You have such a large house,” Kyungsoo had said when he entered the home, eyes lifting up to the high arched ceiling. “Are you sure you only have one?”

The man, Kris, had shook his head, running a hand through his air. A watch glinted on his wrist, and Kyungsoo didn’t want to think about how much it had cost. He had already been offered a gross amount of money to come, such that he hadn’t even thought twice about the two-hour drive between his house and the one he was currently in awe of. “I know it. The bastard only ever bothers me, it completely leaves everyone else alone. It _follows_ me. Through my own house.”

“What does it do?” Kyungsoo’s voice echoed over the cold marble flooring, his eyes scanning the space. A series of family portraits decorated one of the walls, and he nearly scoffed at how pompous it was. He had been in Kris’ life for only a few minutes and he already wanted to leave. But he had a job to do. A quick glance over at the other’s frown had Kyungsoo continuing. “It always helps to know what sort of symptoms they cause. It will help me get a feel for their energy, and possible locations that they would frequent. For example, a pixie that often messes with your food will likely be found in the ki-”

“It makes me forget stuff.” It was said with a huff, as if it was almost embarrassing to admit. But Kyungsoo had been in the business far too long to have any judgement, no matter who his client was. He merely raised an eyebrow, prompting Kris to continue. “I’ll think I put a tie on, then when I get to my car I realized I never did. I’ve forgotten to put on shoes and walked out in the rain, left my car running in the driveway after coming home from work, I can’t even make myself a damn cup of tea because after the water boils, I’ll go over, look at it, and walk away thinking I poured it into the cup. Then when I come back, I’ll realize what happened, but do the same damn thing again. It took me half an hour to make one cup of tea yesterday because I just kept going over and walking away. When I finally poured the water in, I forgot it was brewing and by the time I remembered, the tea was cold. It may seem trivial, but I can’t live like this. I’m an adult, I don’t want to need a chaperone following me around making sure I actually do things properly.”

Kyungsoo hummed in thought, fighting to keep the smile off his face. The images Kris had produced in his mind were admittedly comical, and Kyungsoo had to admit to himself that he would have loved to be a fly on the wall for many of those instances, but he was a professional, and as such laughing at a customer’s plights was far from acceptable. “So it isn’t really localized in one spot in the house, but rather latches onto you. I have seen cases like this before, but it isn’t particularly common. How long have you been affected by this?”

“A few months. At first, I thought it was just me being preoccupied with work, but after a while I figured it was something more.”

“Any particular event that you can remember around the time you started experiencing it?”

“None.”

Kyungsoo hummed again, thinking for a moment. “Where’s the kitchen?” He followed Kris through the house, eyes running over the luxuries vomited throughout every room until they arrived at the spacious kitchen, everything painted in granite and chrome. He hesitated in the space, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, seeing if he could sense anything right away. After a moment, he opened his eyes, nodding to himself and slipping off his backpack, placing it on the table. He unzipped it, pulling out an array of items and ignoring Kris’ questioning glances. Grabbing a glass bottle, Kyungsoo went around to the doors and windows, spraying the threshold with the clear liquid within.

“Is that salt water?” The question took Kyungsoo aback, turning to face Kris with a raised eyebrow. The man flustered under his gaze, his hand coming up to rub absentmindedly at his neck. “I did a bit of research on… magic stuff. Was trying to fix this myself before I called you.”

Kyungsoo’s lips twitched up in amusement. “It’s not salt water. That’s for bad spirits, demons, the like. Which, as far as I’m concerned, don’t exist. The whole ‘salt keeps evil spirits away’ thing is a load of crap, and besides, pixies aren’t inherently evil, they can just sometimes be naughty.”

“Oh.” Kris looked the slightest bit sheepish at Kyungsoo’s words, but did not press the issue further, letting the man finish prepping the room in peace.

Once satisfied, Kyungsoo joined him back at the counter, setting the bottle back down. “I want you to make tea.” He gestured vaguely to the kitchen. “However you usually make it.”

The other seemed surprised at that, but complied, filling the kettle with water and flicking it on, grabbing a mug out of the cupboard and dropping a tea bag into it. There was nothing unusual about the action that Kyungsoo could tell, but he could feel a shift in the air, a sparkle in the sunlight reflecting off the stainless-steel appliances that wasn’t there before. Kyungsoo’s finger’s twitched, but he knew better than to jump the gun, startle the being away. The holds on the doors and windows were nothing more than a suggestion, a subconscious repulsion that prodded the pixie to stay in the room, to ignore everything else and focus on Kris. It would be a rookie mistake to try to capture it now, give up the element of surprise and make any other attempts more difficult. 

Kris shifted his weight on his feet as he waited for the water to boil, fingers worrying the buttons of his shirt, tugging at his belt loops. Nervous. Kyungsoo wondered when the last time the man had been so; he didn’t come across as insecure. He must have been plighted for quite a while to bring him to nervousness. The kettle clicked off, Kris jumping slightly at the sound before turning to look at it, a slight bewilderment on his face as if he had forgotten he had turned it on. Kyungsoo watched, the back of his neck prickle. Kris stared at the kettle for a moment more before turning back, a smug look on his face. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you gonna pour it?” The look vanished in a second. Kris spun to look at his still-empty mug, mouth dropping open in protest. Kyungsoo merely held up a hand, silencing him, and nodded to the kettle. Kris turned again, determination set in his jaw. This time his hand managed to close around the kettle, lift it off its stand. But Kyungsoo knew he wouldn’t pour it even before he set it down onto the counter, expected it.

The shift was greater now, the pixie stubborn or prideful, putting more effort into making Kris cease his actions. Good. Let its ego run it right into Kyungsoo’s grasp. He stayed still, feeling the charm on his necklace grow warm as it hid his presence from the pixie, a cloak of his own. He figured it must have been close, considering how hotly the charm was against Kyungsoo’s collarbones. He didn’t reach to shift it, though, simply watching as Kris turned, slowly this time, back to face him.

“Try again.” 

Kris seemed shocked at the command. “But I-” He spun to face the cup again, a deep sound of frustration growling in his throat. He reached one more for the kettle, quickly this time, and the charm flashed hotly against Kyungsoo’s skin, enough that he was sure it gave him a burn. He gritted his teeth at the pain and lunged forward, hand darting out towards the faint waver in the air just above Kris’ right shoulder, so slight that had he not been looking he would have not noticed it. For a moment, he thought he missed, then his hand closed around something solid, feeling but unable to see the small body thrashing against his grip. 

“Got it,” he breathed, tearing the necklace off and tossing it onto the counter. Kris dropped the kettle onto the counter, twisting around to stare expectantly at Kyungsoo and frowning when all he saw was his hand closed around nothing. 

“What-”

“Can you grab that glass jar from the table, the one- ow, shit it’s biting me- the one with the holes in the top?”

Kris obeyed immediately, unscrewing the lid of the jar and handing it to Kyungsoo. He watched the rather ungraceful act of Kyungsoo shoving his hand in, releasing the pixie into the jar and slamming the lid back on quickly. 

“Whew.” Kyungsoo took a breath. “You know, when I first started using the jar I would never close it fast enough and they would fly out. Not fun.” He spun the lid tightly closed, peering inside. There was nothing to see, of course, but it could imagine the glare he was receiving. He merely grinned in return, rising to grab his tools and shove them back in his bag.

“That- that’s it?” Kris asked when he zipped it up and slung the backpack over his shoulders.

“That’s it,” Kyungsoo affirmed. “Your pixie was cocky. If it were meeker then it would have taken longer for it to get frustrated enough to come close, but luckily- or unluckily, depends on how you look at it- for you, it wasn’t scared of getting in your face to mess with you. I wonder what you did to piss it off.” 

He said it jokingly, but Kris huffed in reply, muttering something about not doing anything and how he should be able to do whatever he wants in his own damn house. Kyungsoo merely waved him off, grabbing the jar and following him back to the front door.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Kris.” Kyungsoo sent him a bright but fake smile that he had learned working in customer service when he was a teenager. “Let me know if you ever need my services again.”

“Yes, thank you.” The man still seemed somewhat perplexed at the whole situation, but he reached out to shake Kyungsoo’s hand. “So what are you going to do with it?”

“The usual, probably.” Kyungsoo shrugged. “Drop it off somewhere where it can’t bother people anymore. They do pretty well in the forest.”

A final goodbye, and Kyungsoo made his way back to his car, tossing his bag in the backseat and raising the jar up to his eyes. The late autumn- at this point he figured he should call it early winter- had frosted his glass slightly, and as he sat waiting for his car to warm up, he turned the jar slightly in his hands.

“You really had that man at his wits end, you know.” He didn’t receive a reply, didn’t expect one. “I am curious as to why you were so determined to make his life difficult.” Still nothing. Kyungsoo set the pixie on the passenger seat, securing the seatbelt around the glass and frowning at the darkening sky. He had not taken into account just how dark it was starting to get so early in the evening and realized the long drive home would not allow him enough time to go into the forest to release the pixie tonight, at least not unless he wanted to be wander around the middle of the woods in the pitch black. Not ideal.

By the time he was half an hour away from home, the streets had completely darkened. He was tired, half-zoning out when a passing streetlight made something catch his eye.

The pixie had appeared- he knew it would; invisibility was quiet exhausting and even the most stubborn fae could only keep it up for so long- and was now sitting cross-armed at the bottom of the jar, sending loathing looks his way. Kyungsoo snorted, turning his attention back to the road. 

It was not until he closed and locked the door of his apartment that he actual took a good look at the creature, sitting in his living room in the light of the small lamp that bookended his couch. It was a boy, it seemed, no taller than six inches, with plush lips pushed into a pout and round, puppy-ish eyes fixed into a glare. Cute- they all were- but not quite fitting the archetype of all the mischief pixies he had seen, and he had seen a lot.

“Nice to finally meet you.” The words were sarcastic, and the creature hmphed in return, turning away from Kyungsoo. “Not even going to say hello?” Kyungsoo spun the jar to face the pixie, which merely turned away from him again. “Fine. Be that way. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He set the jar on the coffee table, standing and beginning to walk away when he was stopped by a small “Wait!” He paused, looking over his shoulders with raised eyebrows. “You’re gonna leave me in here all night?” The pixie stood, hands pressed against the glass with a look of betrayal on its face. Kyungsoo held back a smirk and sat back down on the couch.

“Oh, so now you talk to me. Got it.” He picked up the jar again. “What’s your name?”

“Jongin.”

“Well, Jongin, tell me why I shouldn’t leave you in the jar all night.”

“Because- because that would be mean.”

Kyungsoo scoffed. “And following a man around in his house making his life hard isn’t mean?”

“He deserved it.”

“Oh?” He cocked his head in amusement. “Pray tell.”

“He wasn’t a nice man.” Jongin shook his head, shrugging as if that rid him of responsibility. “He was rude to all the cleaning ladies, never paid any attention to his wife, was too hard on his kid. That man has no love in his heart; he deserves a hard life.”

Snorting, Kyungsoo looking incredulously down at the jar. “That’s not your problem to fix.” He pondered a moment, setting Jongin down on his lap. Even in the brief period of time he had known Kris, he had gathered that he wasn’t a warm man. Jongin likely had a point, but Kyungsoo’s job wasn’t to be a human-pixie therapist. A sniffle snapped him out of his thoughts, and he quickly lifted the jar up again, brows pinched as he peered past the glass.

“Are you crying?” There was disbelief in Kyungsoo’s voice. 

Jongin wiped a tear from his face. “No.”

“You’re crying.”

“I’m not.”

“Why are you crying?”

His lip wobbled as he stared up at Kyungsoo, crossing his arms again. “Because you’re an asshole.”

A moment of silence, then when Kyungsoo spoke again his voice was gentle. “You’re not a mischief pixie, are you?” Jongin sniffled again. “I knew you seemed more like a neutral. I could tell the moment I walked into Kris’ house. Is that why you’re crying? Because I was going to put you out in the forest with all the other bad pixies?” Jongin hesitated, but then nodded slowly, refusing to meet the other’s gaze. Kyungsoo sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “You could have just told me.”

“You wouldn’t have believed me.”

Kyungsoo knew he was probably right but did not admit it. Instead, he checked the time, sighed again. “Hell. Okay, fine, I’ll let you out tonight. But tomorrow you’re leaving. I haven’t had a pixie in my house for a decade, and I don’t plan on starting now.”

“But-” Jongin started, interrupted by Kyungsoo holding up a finger.

“Not the forest. I’m sure one of my friends will take you. But you have to promise not to be bad with them, okay? Otherwise I _will_ put you in the forest.” He paused. “Deal?”

“As if I have a choice.”

“Jongin.”

“Deal, okay? Deal. Now let me out.”

Kyungsoo frowned, considered saying more but decided against it. He unscrewed the lid, reaching in and gingerly pulling the fae from the jar, careful not to catch his wings on the lip. They were delicate-looking, like a butterfly, a purplish-black that flashed iridescent in the light of the lamp, but Kyungsoo knew they were a lot sturdier than they appeared, knew that their dainty appearance was nothing more than a front. Jongin fit nicely on Kyungsoo’s hand, legs dangling over the edge of his palm, one hand gripping his pinky lightly. He stretched, appreciating the new-found space, then vanished from sight, a moment later the weight on Kyungsoo’s hand disappearing as well.

“One night,” Kyungsoo reminded the empty space. “Tomorrow morning you’re out of here.”

~ ~ ~

At the silence, Kyungsoo snorted, raising up his mug and shaking it in the air. “Seriously Jongin? I know for a fact that I filled this. Stop being petty.” He turned, making sure to pour the water into the mug and setting a timer on his phone. “You fairies are so annoying.”

“I am _not_ a fairy.” The voice came from on top of the fridge, where Jongin had appeared, a grumpy look on his face. “And I know you know the difference.”

“Oh, look who decided to appear.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “To what do I owe this honour, your majesty?” He heard Jongin snort and sent him a quick sneer. It held little actual malice, more simple annoyance. “Does this mean you’re ready to talk like an adult, hm?”

“Maybe.”

This time it was Kyungsoo that snorted, sauntering over to his couch and tapping the armrest. He heard Jongin flutter over, sitting on Kyungsoo’s shoulder instead.

He had avoided Kyungsoo at first, as if by staying quiet and out of sight the man would forget he was there, forget that he was supposed to call up his friends and see who wanted him. This, of course, was all in vain, as Kyungsoo’s career was based in detecting fae and it was a skill that didn’t turn off when he was in the comfort of his own home. But Kyungsoo had found his efforts amusing and let him stay one extra day under the guise of not wanting to deal with his friend’s pestering questions that would undoubtedly come with the mention of Jongin. A day turned into a week and a week into a year, and since Kyungsoo had found his presence not bothersome, they eventually they came to an unspoken but mutual understanding that Kyungsoo didn’t care enough to put the effort into relocating Jongin, that he could stay. With the agreement came proximity, Jongin becoming more comfortable, confident, sitting on Kyungsoo’s shoulder as he puttered around the kitchen to make dinner or curling up in the hood of his sweater as the man worked at his computer.

Jongin swung his legs, heels tapping against Kyungsoo’s collar bone, one hand gripping the shell of Kyungsoo’s ear gently for balance. They both were silent for a moment, waiting for the other to speak.

“I’m upset with you.” It was Jongin who broke the quiet.

“I’ve noticed. Care to explain why?”

“No,” Jongin snapped, then paused. “You’ve done five relocations in the past two weeks. Far away ones, too, so you stayed overnight there.”

“So?”

“So, I’ve seen you, what twice? I’ve kept all of your plants alive despite you not watering them, and I stopped those hornets from making a nest outside your window. But you barely even spend time with me; you’re always away and the rare times you’re here you just sleep. Is this any way to treat me?”

“That’s why you’ve been pissy? You’re _lonely_?” Kyungsoo scoffed. “You are the neediest fairy I have ever met. Most people wouldn’t even acknowledge your presence.”

“I’m not a fairy!” Jongin kicked his foot back against Kyungsoo’s chest in defiance. 

“Do you want me to get you a friend? Most houses have more than one pixie anyways.”

“Absolutely not.” There was an indignation in his voice, scandalized that Kyungsoo would even suggest such a thing. “I am not about to share my home or my Kyungsoo with anyone.”

“First of all, its my home.”

“Our home.”

“Second of all, what do you want me to do then?”

“Give me more attention.”

Kyungsoo groaned, falling back against the couch and closing his eyes. He felt Jongin squawk in protest, barely managing to hang on. He climbed up Kyungsoo’s face, sitting cross legged on his forehead and rapping his knuckled lightly on his face, as if knocking on a door. “Fine. I’ll make more time for the biggest baby on earth. Now will you stop being annoying?”

“Unequivocally.”

“Not how you use that word.”

“Isn’t it?”

The alarm on his phone interrupted anything Kyungsoo had to say. He pushed himself up off the couch, Jongin scampering onto his head and grabbing handfuls of hair to steady himself as Kyungsoo walked back to the kitchen. He froze, looking down at the empty mug, the teabag still sitting quietly inside, undisturbed. 

“Okay, now I’m done being annoying.” Jongin laughed from top his head, vanishing a moment later and leaving Kyungsoo to do nothing but stare with dead eyes down at his mug, sighing.

“Neutral, my ass.”


End file.
